i want to go back to thailand. everything felt safer there. it’s so funny how worried people were about me traveling alone there, but i felt so much safer. maybe it’s just how i was, the person i became - ready for anything, trusting of a very welcoming and trusting people, trusting that adventure would take care of me as long as i let myself be swept along. it’s harder to trust the universe here, for some reason. harder to let go. harder not to feel alone.

I am over-caffeinated, stressed about a big transition, and worried about three of my best friends. I’m behind in responsibilities and dealing with my own recurring issues. But driving home today in the straggling 7:30 light, one arm out the window reaching for the overenthusiastic fields and woods of spring in western massachusetts, I realized that none despite what else was on my mind, I was in love. With the newly stumbled upon music humming softly through my veteran car speakers, with the availability of fresh air, with this moment, with life. Thus, liberated, I expand.